Best Man's duties

This is the day that your best friend has waited for since he discovered his nether regions and has asked you to stand by his side as he commits himself to the love of his life.

Below is a list of Best Man do's and don'ts:

• Plan and co-ordinate the bachelor party and pay for it along with the groomsmen
• Do not shave the grooms head/tattoo/allow groom to end up in hospital/force groom to drink on bachelor weekend
• Give a speech at the rehearsal dinner
• Give a speech at the wedding
• Keep the groomsman in order
• Assist in the settng up
• Assist in the packing up
• Escort the MOB and the MOG to their seats
• Sit at the head table during the reception
• DO NOT GET DRUNK AT THE WEDDING OR THE REHEARSAL DINNER
• Attend every function
• Make sure you are the groom's safety valve and sounding board
• DO NOT LET THE GROOM GET DRUNK AT THE WEDDING
• Be in charge at the church
• Dance with the Mother of the Bride and the Maid of Honor
• Make sure that all suits are returned the day after the wedding
• You have 2 roles:  Promotional Model and Slave.  Play both.  Play them well
• Fun is not an option, it's a duty to quote:  Clark Griswold from National Lampoon’s Vacation, “I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much f**king fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of your assholes!”

Groomsman Duties

Let's be honest, outlining the duties of the groomsmen is like telling you how to open a beer.
Every man who knows a man will know what to do, however, there are a few things which shouldn't be over looked and a few things that should not be done, so I shall go about listing the duties anyway...

Do: 

• Serve as an usher and help out in the church.  The brides family should be on the left and the groom's family on the right.
•   Escort the women. If a gaggle of ladies arrive together, basically, you want to usher them in the reverse order of who you want to have sex with. Old ladies first, young women last—hags before beauty.
• Walk the bridesmaids down the aisle when the bridal couple leaves the church.  The Best Man walks the Maid of Honour and so on 

The Dress

The Dress is an extremely important part of any bride's day.  Whether you want a big white wedding, a fairytale ballgown, vintage lace or retro chic your wedding dress is what all your guests will be drooling over when you walk down the aisle.

A few things to think about

• Make sure your dress is comfy
• Can you dance in your dress
• Are you going to be constantly pulling it up the whole night
• Is it classic (you don't want to look back in 10 years and do the what was I thinking thing)
• Set a budget and do not try on dresses over that budget
• Make sure that you can walk in your dress
• Make sure your dress is suited to your body type
• Make sure you can sit in your dress (trust me, I tried on a few that you can't sit in)
• Don't buy thinking that you will lose weight as they can't be adjusted more than 1 or 2 sizes up and down
• Some bridal shops will charge you to try on dresses and limit you to a certain amount of dresses and a time frame

A few picture of some dresses I like and some that I don't

Bridesmaid Duites

Of all the girls that the bride has met in her lifetime she has chosen you to stand by her on her wedding day.

The title of bridesmaid comes with responsibility and cost. If you don’t have the time or money to be a part of a wedding party, there’s nothing wrong with turning the bride down and just coming as a guest.  But make sure that you do this way before the wedding and not the day before. Many friendships have suffered and many arguments have been had because a friend was too scared to say, “Sorry, I love you but I can’t.”

The bride and her Maid of Honour will look to you for help many times during the planning stages and on the wedding day. So, what do you have to do?

BRIDESMAID’S DUTIES

• Help the bride plan her wedding
• Listen to her plans with a smile on your face (even if you disagree entirely)
• Suggest with helpful hints
• Make sure you are there for group dress shopping trips and fittings
• Be prepared to pay for your bridesmaid’s dress, even if you hate it
• Be prepared to pay for your hair, make-up, mani/pedi on the day
• Remember the bride gets the final say on what you wear 
• Give moral support
• Know ALL the wedding details
• Help the photographer
• Stop the groomsman from getting too drunk and out of control
• Make sure that there is an emergency kit on hand (headache tablets, tampons, needle and thread, lip gloss etc)
• Help addresses and assemble wedding and shower invitations
• Help wrap and tag wedding favours
• Help the Maid of Honour plan & pay for a kitchen tea and bacherlorette
• Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner (this is a non-negotiable)
• Help decorate ceremony and reception locations if necessary
• Help the bride get ready and be on hand for all her bridezilla demands on the big day
• Make sure the bride has had lots of water and something to eat on the morning of the wedding
•  Dance with the groomsmen (and not just the one you like)
• Make sure the bride has some "me time" on her wedding day before she starts to get ready
• Offer to help the Maid of Honour when needed
• DO NOT get drunk
• Help load gifts into car
• Help with clean-up at the end of the night (for all the different events)

I found this fantastic article (based on a previous post about the bridezilla e-mail) by the brilliant Cathy Weaver....

Reasons Why You Cannot Be a Bridesmaid

 Caity Weaver

This morning a tipster forwarded us an email from a future bride laying out some ground rules for her prospective bridesmaids.

In keeping with epic tradition (the wedding, she promises, will be "epic") she does everything short of requiring them to sign a blood oath of fealty.

If you, knave, find yourself guilty of any of the following treasons, you are not fit to call yourself a Maiden of the Bride:

1. You fuck up CC's, by CC-ing either too many or not enough people.

Understand that, as a bridesmaid, you have a highly visible role in the wedding, which means that the whole guestlist will be BCC'd on any mistakes you make. (You also have "a big roll," that is showing through your satin aubergine bridesmaid's dress. Why didn't you take care of that? I knew you weren't cut out to be a bridesmaid.)

You all have a big roll in this wedding, so before we continue I'm going to be setting some ground rules and its very important you read and think about everything through before you accept this honor to be a bridesmaid. If you guys email anything I would also like you to put L— in the CC. Not all the bridesmaid need to be CC'd unless its coming from me or L—, if it something everyone needs to see then well do it. We set the date to August 31, 2013 if that's a problem we need to know NOW. Also by the end of the week we will be setting dates for the engagement party, bridal show and bachelorette party.

Bridezilla ALERT!

Below is a leaked email that a bride in the USA sent to her bridesmaids....

To my lovely Bridesmaid: [Names removed to protect the brideslaves]

As you all know I picked 10 wonderful ladies to stand by my side, share and make happen my special day to Jake. Each of you individually have a reason and a special place in my heart of why I picked you to be a bridesmaid. We have set our date for Saturday, August 31, 2013 in Vail, Colorado. That seems far away but it really isn’t, the earlier the planning the better. You may have already knew that my wonderful sister L— will be the Maid of Honor, she’s in charge under me. Also my lovely mom will be a big help as well. L— has a big role in throwing me a bridal shower and bachelorette party, of course all of you guys do but at the end of the day she's the go to person and makes it happen.

Engagement Shoot

Chris and I recently had our engagement shoot.  We had the most divine day and had so much fun posing and prancing and playing in front of the camera.  All the photo's were taken by the fabulously talented James Black.  Here are a few of the special ones..

Venue Hunting

Do’s and Don’t’s

·         ·         Don’t procrastinate.   Especially if time is of the essence in order to get a specific date

• ·         Make sure you get all the hidden costs squeezed out of your venues (believe me there are quite a few at the more renowned ones)
• ·         Remember that it is your wedding and you are paying the venue so technically they work for you.  Be assertive (but not rude).  Tell them exactly what you are looking for.  Ask for freebies (they will throw them in)
• ·         Do NOT over venue hunt (as in go see).  If you do, you will then find too many faults in every venue and really struggle to find one (trust me on this one, because it’s exactly what we did)
• ·         Pick 10 venues out of the hundreds you have emailed and then go and see them.  Then short list again to 7.  Go see those 7.  Short list to 3.  Pick 1.  (one of my best friends and bridesmaids did her venue hunt this way, best way ever!)
• ·         Make sure that you read and reread the contract and discuss any points you need to with the venue
• ·         Be sure that the ambience and setting matches the theme of your wedding (Goth meets Cape Dutch does not work.  Classic and elegant meets pub does not work)
• ·         Be sure to not only take your fiancé along, but also your parents and a bridesmaid/groomsman for a 2^nd look at your final choice before booking.  They will help you make the most informed decision and will point out things you did not notice either good or bad
• ·         Do not take the whole extended family and bridal party to view your venue before booking.  There will be too many opinions
• ·         At the end of the day, it is the bride and groom’s decision on which venue they pick, however, if you are lucky enough to have your parents contributing a substantial amount or even paying for your whole wedding, do let them have a say
• ·         Do not over analyzeIf you know exactly where you want to get married, then get the brochure, do your sums and book.  Don’t look at other venues.  It will spoil your vision.
• ·         Pick a venue that has natural beauty and that you do not have to spend a fortune redecorating
•  and draping
• ·         Quite a few venues charge extra for waiters/barmen and their transport.  Enquire as to this as it ends up being quite costly if you haven’t factored that in
• ·         Do not book a venue smaller than the list of people you would like to invite.  The same goes for booking a large venue, do not book a huge ballroom for 300 guests if you only plan on inviting 80
• ·         Whichever venue you decide on:  Wine farm, hotel, city warehouse, picnic, forest, country mansion, garden, your parents’ house, the beach…remember, it’s about you and your day and what makes you happy