Flower Bowls

A different, simple yet elegant way to do your wedding centerpieces...

Inspiration: Purple and Grey

Love this for an Autumn wedding

Inspiration: Candy Stripes

Loving these pretty pink and white candy stripes, they would look stunning at a bridal shower or kitchen tea or a girly lunch.

What I Need Now

Bridezilla

The dreaded moment when the most laid back girl turns into a raving lunatic at the mention of her wedding.

The urban dictionary describes this as:  Bridezilla -  formed from blending the words brid and Godzilla together.  Used to describe a woman whose behavior becomes outrageously bad in the course of planning her wedding.  This woman is so obsessed by her wedding plans that she seems possessed and has merged from a calm, loving girl into a hybrid events/catering/ambiance driven monster who will stop at nothing to create 'her perfect day'.

Bridal Tea Party

Why not thank your Mom and your bridesmaids for all the hard work they have done and for being part of your life.
Hold a little tea party with pretty girlie touches.  Think flowers, champagne, olde world glamour, polka dots, english tea garden, pretty teacups, crystal champagne flutes and ribbons.  Finger sandwiches, cupcakes, scone with jam and clotted cream as well as vegetable sticks and dips....

Oh dear...

Sweet Suprise

Why not have a sweet table to wow your guests and keep their energy levels up on the dance floor?

Heavenly Hair

Never underestimate your own regular hair dresser on your wedding day.  This is what I have been told countless times and on numerous occasions by very different people (and the internet).  Chose a style that suits you and your dress and do not change your hair drastically before the wedding or go for something that someone tells you will look good but you know you will regret.  Think elegant and classic and timeless.  Think about the weather and the state of your hair when choosing a style as well as the neckline of your wedding dress.  You will also need to take into account your hairpiece: veil/tiara/flower/fascinator

The Little Chapel

Isn't this just gorgeous?
The smallest chapel in the world, made entirely of mosaic.
For more info go to http://thelittlechapel.org/

Real Wedding: Lukasz and Nicole

Venue:  Durban Country Club

Couple: Lukaz and Nicole

Date: August 2011

Real Wedding: David and Gemma

Couple:  David and Gemma

Date:  11 August 2012

Church:  St Andrews Parish, Guernsey

Venue:  The Farmhouse, St Saviours, Geurnsey

Photographer:  Campbell & Sauverin Photography

Real Engagement Party: Nicole and Lukasz

Couple:  Lukasz and Nicole

Venue:  Mount Edgecombe

Picture Perfect

Finding a photographer, or should I say, the right photographer is a long and lengthy and very personal process.

As a couple, you need to decide on the style of photographs you want and how much of the wedding budget you want to spend on your memories.
As far as I am concerned, the wedding photographer should be one of the biggest expenses on your wedding list, after all, this is the way you are able to remember and visualize your wedding day.

The Cake

Chocolate, vanilla, red velvet, cheesecake, carrot, nut, fruitcake,  strawberry, citrus, coffee, caramel, red velvet...you name your flavour and your baker will be able to make it.
Then there are the toppings - white chocolate ganache, fondant, dark chocolate ganache, butter cream  jam, cream cheese, fresh cream....
And don't forget the cake toppers - fresh flowers, marzipan, poured sugar, plastic figurines...

When choosing a baker for your wedding cake, make sure that they have baked a wedding cake before and that they can show you a portfolio and provide tasters.
Any decent baker should do these tasters free of charge.
Make sure your baker is reputable and ask them for references from other bridal couples.
Your baker should be able to give you idea's and suggest what you should or shouldn't be having with regards to your cake.  The baker should also want to work within your theme and colour scheme and should do all the liaising with your wedding planning/venue/florist.  Make sure that the baker will also be able to take the cake to your venue and set it up as well as make adjustments should they need to be made on your wedding day.

How not to be a Wedding Planner

A wedding planner is priceless and a must have for any bride who actually has a life beyond her wedding planning.

Due to the fact that I decided I was not superwoman and could no longer do the bulk of my wedding planning on my own (Mom in Joburg, fiance diving for cover at the mention of wedding planning), we went on a wedding planner search.
After meeting with a few prospects, I decided on a planner and this was the perfect planner for us.
Not only was she fun and full of life but she got my plans and ideas.

When we had our table mock Wedding Planner produced the most beautiful display of exactly what I wanted.  She had listened to all my idea's and looked at the endless supply of pictures I sent her and put my whole concept together to create an even better vision of what I was looking for.

However, this is where the fairytale-like wedding planner ended.  A planner is supposed to make your day less stressful.  A planner is supposed to make your planning less stressful.  This was not the case.  Whilst she was doing things, I was doing a lot more myself.
I had to chase her.  Literally.  Email after email went unanswered.  When I called she didn't know who I was.
I had to bug her for 2 weeks for our quote for the flowers and decor and when it arrived I almost fell off my chair in shock.  Our wedding planner has not stuck to our budget.  At all.  The quote was very pricey.
Of course I then phoned other suppliers, all who came in very much less expensive for the same arrangements.
I then booked another supplier.  Wedding planner was not happy about this and voiced it to us.
Wedding planner then went away for a week (which of course she is allowed to do) but she gave us 2 days notice.
Fiancé and I sent wedding planner an email voicing our concerns and stating that we had looked at other suppliers and had a meeting with another wedding planner and that we please needed her to understand what we needed.
This morning I received an email stating very rudely that wedding planner did not agree with us and had withdrawn her services!
Isn't the service provider meant to make their client's happy and rectify issues?  Instead we got unprofessionalism and rudeness when we addressed concerns.
Bad bad wedding planner.

Best Man's duties

This is the day that your best friend has waited for since he discovered his nether regions and has asked you to stand by his side as he commits himself to the love of his life.

Below is a list of Best Man do's and don'ts:

• Plan and co-ordinate the bachelor party and pay for it along with the groomsmen
• Do not shave the grooms head/tattoo/allow groom to end up in hospital/force groom to drink on bachelor weekend
• Give a speech at the rehearsal dinner
• Give a speech at the wedding
• Keep the groomsman in order
• Assist in the settng up
• Assist in the packing up
• Escort the MOB and the MOG to their seats
• Sit at the head table during the reception
• DO NOT GET DRUNK AT THE WEDDING OR THE REHEARSAL DINNER
• Attend every function
• Make sure you are the groom's safety valve and sounding board
• DO NOT LET THE GROOM GET DRUNK AT THE WEDDING
• Be in charge at the church
• Dance with the Mother of the Bride and the Maid of Honor
• Make sure that all suits are returned the day after the wedding
• You have 2 roles:  Promotional Model and Slave.  Play both.  Play them well
• Fun is not an option, it's a duty to quote:  Clark Griswold from National Lampoon’s Vacation, “I'm gonna have fun and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much f**king fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of your assholes!”

Groomsman Duties

Let's be honest, outlining the duties of the groomsmen is like telling you how to open a beer.
Every man who knows a man will know what to do, however, there are a few things which shouldn't be over looked and a few things that should not be done, so I shall go about listing the duties anyway...

Do: 

• Serve as an usher and help out in the church.  The brides family should be on the left and the groom's family on the right.
•   Escort the women. If a gaggle of ladies arrive together, basically, you want to usher them in the reverse order of who you want to have sex with. Old ladies first, young women last—hags before beauty.
• Walk the bridesmaids down the aisle when the bridal couple leaves the church.  The Best Man walks the Maid of Honour and so on 

The Dress

The Dress is an extremely important part of any bride's day.  Whether you want a big white wedding, a fairytale ballgown, vintage lace or retro chic your wedding dress is what all your guests will be drooling over when you walk down the aisle.

A few things to think about

• Make sure your dress is comfy
• Can you dance in your dress
• Are you going to be constantly pulling it up the whole night
• Is it classic (you don't want to look back in 10 years and do the what was I thinking thing)
• Set a budget and do not try on dresses over that budget
• Make sure that you can walk in your dress
• Make sure your dress is suited to your body type
• Make sure you can sit in your dress (trust me, I tried on a few that you can't sit in)
• Don't buy thinking that you will lose weight as they can't be adjusted more than 1 or 2 sizes up and down
• Some bridal shops will charge you to try on dresses and limit you to a certain amount of dresses and a time frame

A few picture of some dresses I like and some that I don't

Bridesmaid Duites

Of all the girls that the bride has met in her lifetime she has chosen you to stand by her on her wedding day.

The title of bridesmaid comes with responsibility and cost. If you don’t have the time or money to be a part of a wedding party, there’s nothing wrong with turning the bride down and just coming as a guest.  But make sure that you do this way before the wedding and not the day before. Many friendships have suffered and many arguments have been had because a friend was too scared to say, “Sorry, I love you but I can’t.”

The bride and her Maid of Honour will look to you for help many times during the planning stages and on the wedding day. So, what do you have to do?

BRIDESMAID’S DUTIES

• Help the bride plan her wedding
• Listen to her plans with a smile on your face (even if you disagree entirely)
• Suggest with helpful hints
• Make sure you are there for group dress shopping trips and fittings
• Be prepared to pay for your bridesmaid’s dress, even if you hate it
• Be prepared to pay for your hair, make-up, mani/pedi on the day
• Remember the bride gets the final say on what you wear 
• Give moral support
• Know ALL the wedding details
• Help the photographer
• Stop the groomsman from getting too drunk and out of control
• Make sure that there is an emergency kit on hand (headache tablets, tampons, needle and thread, lip gloss etc)
• Help addresses and assemble wedding and shower invitations
• Help wrap and tag wedding favours
• Help the Maid of Honour plan & pay for a kitchen tea and bacherlorette
• Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner (this is a non-negotiable)
• Help decorate ceremony and reception locations if necessary
• Help the bride get ready and be on hand for all her bridezilla demands on the big day
• Make sure the bride has had lots of water and something to eat on the morning of the wedding
•  Dance with the groomsmen (and not just the one you like)
• Make sure the bride has some "me time" on her wedding day before she starts to get ready
• Offer to help the Maid of Honour when needed
• DO NOT get drunk
• Help load gifts into car
• Help with clean-up at the end of the night (for all the different events)

I found this fantastic article (based on a previous post about the bridezilla e-mail) by the brilliant Cathy Weaver....

Reasons Why You Cannot Be a Bridesmaid

 Caity Weaver

This morning a tipster forwarded us an email from a future bride laying out some ground rules for her prospective bridesmaids.

In keeping with epic tradition (the wedding, she promises, will be "epic") she does everything short of requiring them to sign a blood oath of fealty.

If you, knave, find yourself guilty of any of the following treasons, you are not fit to call yourself a Maiden of the Bride:

1. You fuck up CC's, by CC-ing either too many or not enough people.

Understand that, as a bridesmaid, you have a highly visible role in the wedding, which means that the whole guestlist will be BCC'd on any mistakes you make. (You also have "a big roll," that is showing through your satin aubergine bridesmaid's dress. Why didn't you take care of that? I knew you weren't cut out to be a bridesmaid.)

You all have a big roll in this wedding, so before we continue I'm going to be setting some ground rules and its very important you read and think about everything through before you accept this honor to be a bridesmaid. If you guys email anything I would also like you to put L— in the CC. Not all the bridesmaid need to be CC'd unless its coming from me or L—, if it something everyone needs to see then well do it. We set the date to August 31, 2013 if that's a problem we need to know NOW. Also by the end of the week we will be setting dates for the engagement party, bridal show and bachelorette party.

Bridezilla ALERT!

Below is a leaked email that a bride in the USA sent to her bridesmaids....

To my lovely Bridesmaid: [Names removed to protect the brideslaves]

As you all know I picked 10 wonderful ladies to stand by my side, share and make happen my special day to Jake. Each of you individually have a reason and a special place in my heart of why I picked you to be a bridesmaid. We have set our date for Saturday, August 31, 2013 in Vail, Colorado. That seems far away but it really isn’t, the earlier the planning the better. You may have already knew that my wonderful sister L— will be the Maid of Honor, she’s in charge under me. Also my lovely mom will be a big help as well. L— has a big role in throwing me a bridal shower and bachelorette party, of course all of you guys do but at the end of the day she's the go to person and makes it happen.

Engagement Shoot

Chris and I recently had our engagement shoot.  We had the most divine day and had so much fun posing and prancing and playing in front of the camera.  All the photo's were taken by the fabulously talented James Black.  Here are a few of the special ones..

Venue Hunting

Do’s and Don’t’s

·         ·         Don’t procrastinate.   Especially if time is of the essence in order to get a specific date

• ·         Make sure you get all the hidden costs squeezed out of your venues (believe me there are quite a few at the more renowned ones)
• ·         Remember that it is your wedding and you are paying the venue so technically they work for you.  Be assertive (but not rude).  Tell them exactly what you are looking for.  Ask for freebies (they will throw them in)
• ·         Do NOT over venue hunt (as in go see).  If you do, you will then find too many faults in every venue and really struggle to find one (trust me on this one, because it’s exactly what we did)
• ·         Pick 10 venues out of the hundreds you have emailed and then go and see them.  Then short list again to 7.  Go see those 7.  Short list to 3.  Pick 1.  (one of my best friends and bridesmaids did her venue hunt this way, best way ever!)
• ·         Make sure that you read and reread the contract and discuss any points you need to with the venue
• ·         Be sure that the ambience and setting matches the theme of your wedding (Goth meets Cape Dutch does not work.  Classic and elegant meets pub does not work)
• ·         Be sure to not only take your fiancé along, but also your parents and a bridesmaid/groomsman for a 2^nd look at your final choice before booking.  They will help you make the most informed decision and will point out things you did not notice either good or bad
• ·         Do not take the whole extended family and bridal party to view your venue before booking.  There will be too many opinions
• ·         At the end of the day, it is the bride and groom’s decision on which venue they pick, however, if you are lucky enough to have your parents contributing a substantial amount or even paying for your whole wedding, do let them have a say
• ·         Do not over analyzeIf you know exactly where you want to get married, then get the brochure, do your sums and book.  Don’t look at other venues.  It will spoil your vision.
• ·         Pick a venue that has natural beauty and that you do not have to spend a fortune redecorating
•  and draping
• ·         Quite a few venues charge extra for waiters/barmen and their transport.  Enquire as to this as it ends up being quite costly if you haven’t factored that in
• ·         Do not book a venue smaller than the list of people you would like to invite.  The same goes for booking a large venue, do not book a huge ballroom for 300 guests if you only plan on inviting 80
• ·         Whichever venue you decide on:  Wine farm, hotel, city warehouse, picnic, forest, country mansion, garden, your parents’ house, the beach…remember, it’s about you and your day and what makes you happy

Engagement Party: Chris and Ché

31 March 2012.

Flowers by Belinda

This was our engagement party.  Our vision of the celebration of the beginning of the next chapter of our lives.

We wanted it to be perfect and perfect it was.

Set up

We decided to hold it at my parent's home in Joburg and invite only our closest friends and family.  We decided on a formal sit down dinner but made the dress casual.  I wanted a splash of fun amid the formalities so decided on pink and polka dots.  Chris actually really liked the idea of it.  In fact he kept on suggesting more pink and polka dotty things to buy when shopping for decor.

Who should Pay for What?

This is the general rule of thumb

The bride (and/or her family) pays for: 

• Invitations and all wedding stationery for church and reception 
• Bride's and bridesmaids' dresses and accessories 
• Flowers for the church and reception 
• Photographer/videographer 
• All reception costs, music, etc. (excluding drinks, barmen and related expenses)
• Wedding cake. 

The groom (and/or he's family) pay for: 

• Legal expenses (e.g.: antenuptial contract) 
• Ceremony expenses (marriage officer's fee, organist, soloist, tips, etc.) 
• Bride's and bridesmaids' bouquets 
• Buttonholes and corsages for the wedding party 
• Hiring of clothes for himself and best man (if necessary) 
• Gifts for the bridesmaids and best man 
• Drinks at the reception and related expenses, i.e hiring of barmen, 
• Hiring of glasses, etc. 
• Transport for the bride to the church and reception 
• Wedding night accommodation and the honeymoon

The Engagement Party

Do have an engagement party.

It is the most fabulous way to celebrate with friends and family when you and your other half make that big decision.

Make your engagement party more intimate than your wedding.  You do not have to invite every Tom, Dick and Harry.  Invite those who are closest to you and your respective families.  Have it at your parents’ house.  That way it’s more personal and has a familiar and family atmosphere.

Make it fun and themed around your wedding (not the exact theme).  Make it a cocktail party or a sit down meal or even a good old braai.  Whatever you do, make it special.

It’s about you

Remember that your engagement party is about you and your fiancé.  Yes you want to talk to everyone, and yes you need to meet your parent’s friends whom you haven’t met and thank everyone for coming etc etc etc.  But.  Don’t forget about each other.

Chris and I made the mistake of trying to talk to everybody at our engagement party and when we sat down at the end of the evening, we realized the only time we had spoken to each other was when we say down for dinner.

Take lots of photos

Make sure to document every moment (it helps if you have a friend who knows how to take gorgeous pictures). 

Food

Food is non-negotiable.  Serve it.

Whether you decide on canapés or a good old sit down meal, food has to be served (to absorb alcohol).  However, please make sure your guests have a table and chair when they are eating if you decide on a meal.  There is nothing worse than sitting on the steps of someone’s verandah and eating off your lap in your party frock.

Drinks

Supply your guests with all drinks.  Do not ask them to bring a bottle.  It is so not cool.  Even if you just have the prerequisite beer and wine and champagne.  You don’t have to have hard tack (although for the whiskey swilling gentlemen, it’s sometimes nice to have their tipple), but do supply general drinks from the good old bottle of water to a nice bottle of Moët for the toast.

And remember to have fun and enjoy yourselves.  This time is so special and if you blink, you will miss it.

Telling your Parents

Your parents should be the first to know about your engagement.
Before you post it on Facebook/bbm status/ Twitter.  Before you squeal your delight to your bff.  Before you call your cousin five times removed in the Amazon.  Before you tell your dog/cat/horse/goldfish.

Your parents will be pissed if you don't tell them first .

Chris and I called my parents as soon as I could actually talk without crying/speaking in gibberish.  They of course were ecstatic.  As it turned out, Chris had asked my Dad almost 2 months prior to asking me.  He was even more perfect than I thought.
Once we had told my immediate family we called his family.
Once we had done that, we then called my aunt and godparents.
And of course then decided to just update the good ole bbm status with the news.

However, if you do want to just enjoy the moment and tell your families when you have basked in the idea with just the two of you, then do so.  We decided to enjoy it afterwards.  To spend the rest of the evening under the blanket of stars, drinking a bottle of bubbly (well more than one) and planing our future.  That was one helluva way to enjoy our first few hours as an engaged couple.  Under the African skies.

The Proposal

I got engaged on a beautiful summer's evening in February.
February 11th 2012 to be exact.

It was a magical moment full of new hopes and dreams and promises, but best of all, filled with love and the new beginnings of sharing the rest of my life with my best friend.

Chris whisked me away to a gorgeous lodge which we both love.  Stonehouse Mountain Lodge in Hartebeesport is one of the most stunning and peaceful hideaway's I have been to.  The lions from the local sanctuary can be heard roaring at night creating a surreal African vibe that makes you think you are in the middle of the bush.  The night sky is filled with a blanket of stars and from the villa's you can see forever.  The place makes me feel free.

If you are going to drive a Landy, you may as well drive it properly

Our Friday evening was pretty uneventful (save for my 4x4 driving skills on the way) and so we woke up Saturday morning and decided to take a drive (inclusive of more 4x4 driving skills).

Hartebeesport has become so built up over the past ten years that, when driving around, you no longer feel as though you are in teh country.  Rather just an extension of good old Jozi.
After taking in what scenery there is still left and doing some firewood buying and